Wow. He we are. Me and Lukey bear. The man of the hour. He means the world to me. I look at him and see my moms eyes staring back at me. Plus he loves me. So I even toned it down some I try to dress like a mommy. But I see myself in the mirror and say yea right. ITZ back to the punk rock clothes. And I look at lukey and say rock and roll child. And he  smiles and my heart melts. Cause I love him and miss my mom all in one. I wish she could have seen him and held but what a wicked web we weave when first we try to deceive. Well it's feeding time. Later peeps. STAY TUNED. IM BACK.

I really must say-I knew it was a coming; by "it" I mean Death. It had been in the air for years; just looming over everyone especially momma who said nothing at all.  Who day in and day out listened to us all complain about the little shit in life-and not once did she ever tell us that her hourglass was nearly out.  Seven years ago my step-father had passed away from a hole that blew in his heart.  I had just arrived at work when i got the news that my mother had called and said it was an emergency and could i please meet her at the hospital.  She and I were always close but there was a time when we didnt talk for five years because my step-father was the type to alienate ppeople of course.  He didn't want anyone close to her at all.  Plus, I had decided that i would move to the big city to forget all about my past and horrible truths of life.  It would literally take me years to realize that like everyone says home was were the heart was all alone.  Well long story short-I moved from the big metropolis to a smaller place that was still a big enough city and me and my moms started talking again-i would even go visit from time to time in their neck of the wood but never to long of course-cause of course thatz when the demons of the past would surface with my stepdad an d i.  However after I got the phone call at work-it was a matter of 3 days and he was gone-and itz strange cause a big part of me missed him but i was also happy that my mom would now be free in life.  Itz strange though my grandma once told me an old saying which till this day rings true, "CAREFUL NOT STARE TO LONG INTO THE ABYSS-LESS YOU BECOME THE MONSTER"

Wow. Itz been a long ride. A true journey. With this glorious sadness comes the happiest thought in the world-Lukey Bear. The man of the hour. Moms gone now and in the willows breeze I feel her breath. I also look at my baby and see her eyes and wish she could have held or even seen him. But wut a wicked web we weave when first we learn to deceive. Then there was luke. The other love of my life: